jaheba

unorganized itunes.
now my afternoon is full.

Finally realizing who your friends are may have came quick to me, and I haven’t been out of high school for a full year, but it became pretty clear fast.
Trying to patch things up with a very old friend; get shit on.
Talk to someone who was in a different “clique” (for lack of a better word); get weird looks.

It may be just today, or maybe just me, or my town, or the people I’m surrounded by but this whole high school mentality people have hasn’t gone away yet and I’m desperately waiting for it.

I do like your company, and the relationship we share.
I am sorry it’s not in the way you want it to be but I can’t change this.
Your comfort is suffocating, and overwhelming,
I’d like it to be like before;
Our company was like air,
Our friends the trees,
and we all went with the flow.
Now I’ve been infested with some sort of insect I can’t quite rid myself of.
You’re now everywhere but nowhere near me.
I don’t think of you in the way you flood your mind of me,
Yet your all that’s up there.
All over the walls of my mind, because I’m scared and worried,
You shouldn’t be flattered.
I know you think I should be but I’m filling with fear.
Fear of you, and for you.
The help you tried to give yourself didn’t work,
Let someone in.
Someone else in.
Don’t force them in,
They’ll just be there, just to help.
Just to help.

- written for a friend.